As an individual, I consider myself to have several social roles that integrate themselves into one identity, which makes me who I am. However, some parts of my identity become more prevalent depending on the situation I am in, and who my audience is. I am a student, a daughter, a sister, and a socialite, to name a few of my identities. Depending on the setting, I pick which identity I want to convey to those around me. For instance, in an academic setting, I exemplify a particular set of traits. I am somewhat demure, but voice my opinion when I have a strong one. I choose my words carefully, try to use formal language, and refrain from slang since it is an academic institution. I listen intently to my peers and the instructor, and treat the instructor like an authoritative figure. Although it sounds a bit frivolous, the reason that I do not say much unless I am absolutely sure of my statement is that I fear being wrong or being judged. If I make an observation that is inconsistent with the views of others, I am somewhat apprehensive of others judging my statement as incorrect, or looking like a fool for saying something unintelligent. Nevertheless, this does not stop me from speaking out if I feel strongly about something and want to enlighten others with my opinion. On the other hand, a completely different side of me comes out when I am in a purely social setting. For example, if I am at a party, or in a situation where my goal is to solely meet new people, I act a lot more extraverted. In these cases, I am a lot less cognizant of how others perceive me, and am more free with my words and actions. Perhaps it is because in the classroom or professional world, there is an imbalance of power, and I am trying to appeal to an authoritative figure. Therefore, I am more self conscious and want to make a good impression. However, at a party or social event, I see all the other people there as my peers and equals. For that reason, I am more willing to approach others and strike up a conversation.
As I have started college, I noticed that the two identities described above have slowly begun to merge. All throughout grade school, I was taught that I was the student and the teacher was the authoritative figure. However, having been through several smaller college classes, I have noticed that the classroom atmosphere is much more relaxed. Student-teacher interactions are much less formal. That being said, there is still an understanding that the instructor must be respected as an educator, but the student-oriented way in which the instructor teaches the class makes the atmosphere a lot less stifled. Because of this, I find it easier to be sociable in class and voice my opinion without being self conscious. I can bring in more of the person I am in social situations into the classroom.
For the most part, I imagine that my audience for this blog will be my English 225 instructor and peers from the class. Although, who knows? Since this blog is open to the public, maybe I will get a few readers who don’t know me and will find my thoughts interesting! I will write this blog in way so that those who don’t already know me will get to know me better. As I previously said, in person, people may perceive me as a passive individual. However, through this blog, I hope to persuade readers that I do have strong thoughts on some subjects, and that I can convey these thoughts through mature reasoning. I only form a strong opinion on a subject if I am very knowledgeable about it. Before I make a statement, I consult all resources, and try to find lots of evidence for my reasoning. I anticipate what others may say to counter my opinion, and try to think of ways to respond to their statements with persuasiveness. That being said, I am always open to criticism and suggestions on how I can improve my argumentative skills. Hopefully I can find an issue that I am passionate about to convince others of my view.
I love to hear that you find it easier to draw on the two senses of your identity that you describe. I wonder if this merging is a result of increased confidence or merely a side effect of the social situation of the university. I'll look forward to reading more posts about how this process continues, and what you encounter along the way.
ReplyDeletePayel, I really like how you used to see yourself as multiple identities and how now as you have advanced in your academic studies you feel that your identities are merging. Do you think this is a direct reaction to the University of Michigan atmosphere or do you think it just stems from your maturation? I think that you sound more confident now and wonder if it is a result of your "new" identity or was caused by something else and thus led to your merging of identities..
ReplyDeleteI really like how you point out that your identity may change depending upon the situation that you are in. I would have to agree with you on your interpretation for I feel the same way in different environments and around different people. I too am always shy in classes for I fear being wrong or sounding like I do not know what I am talking about. Maybe we can work together on overcoming this so we can both learn to be more assertive. I look forward to continuing to read your blog.
Payel,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your insight on your two separate identities merging as one. I too often have found I often stay quiet when I have an opinion on something unless it is a strong opinion. While in Washington DC this summer, I found that one of the things everyone wanted to talk about by no surprise was politics; however, it was in both work and social settings. Perhaps because I have slightly more conservative viewpoints than most in Washington, people were quick to analyze not only what I said but also how I said it and I felt like I was constantly under attack by my peers. After a drawn out conversation with my peers, I found most would concede and tell me they see my point and they enjoyed my insight, but I felt like it was exhausting trying to choose the right word at every moment! I’d like to hear how you have grown to be more confident in your classroom responses.
As I saw from Amanda’s post she feel the same way. If others feel the same in our class, perhaps this will bring a mutual understanding and foster an interesting (and positive) dynamic in classroom discussion this semester!